I reckon it's about time the Presbyterian end of this outfit started putting in her two cents. I don't claim to have quite the same way with words as my Methodist counterpart, but I will do my best to keep pace with that giant-sized stride. ;)
First things first, and as I promised Jamison I would do, we decided we should probably explain the title of our blog. "Bloomin' Tulips" is a bit of word play, and our goofy attempt to combine our Methodist and Presbyterian traditions into a single idea or phrase. The acronym "T.U.L.I.P." is often used to sum up Calvin's doctrines and theories about atonement; however, as a small disclaimer for myself and my denomination (in case any of our bloggers actually look these up--I know there are some of you nerds out there!), these are a rearticulation of Calvin's thoughts by those after him, and in my humble opinion, a rather fundamentalist articulation of them. That being said, Bloomin' Tulips uses "Tulip" primarily in jest. ;) Now, on to the significance of "Bloomin'". While "Tulip" is a reference to the Reformed heritage, "Bloomin'" is our nod to the Methodist tradition, which heralds Holy Living and Christian perfection and sanctification. Thus, a Tulip that is "blooming" is not only justified solely by God's grace (as a good Presbyterian might say!), but also continuing to participate in that grace, "blooming" onward on their path to sanctification and holiness (as a good Methodist might say!) So there you have it. Together, we are Bloomin' Tulips. And we believe we are better for it. Of course, after explaining this to my dad, he lovingly reminded me that "the grass withers and the flower [i.e., the bloomin' tulip] fades, but the word of God endures forever" (Isaiah 40:8). Preach it, Dad.
While Jamison writes from distant shores and (at least for most of us) unexplored terrain, I write to you from Wilmington, NC, the sunny Carolina coastal town where I did most of my growing up. I am working in my home congregation this summer--a sizable PC(USA) church downtown, right across the street from the high school I graduated from and where my mom still teaches AP Biology and Chemistry. Oddly enough, in many ways I would feel more "at home" serving in South Africa. I started hearing inklings of a call to ministry on mission experiences in college to Africa and Latin America. This summer will be the first time that I have assumed a ministerial position working in a church that serves my own demographic. Honestly, I don't think all that much will be different. People are people, and at our core, we all hope and long for the same thing. Above all, I know that we all long for a relationship with Jesus. The only thing that changes is what things in our lives serve as obstacles and distractions from growing in relationship with Jesus and with our neighbors--and those things tend to vary depending on what life circumstance we find ourselves in. All I know is that the most beautiful thing to witness in this life is God the Creator continuing to work and move in people's lives, in all kinds of situations, struggles, and events. Getting to be an observer, a listener, a conversation partner with someone who is experiencing God's transformative presence in their lives is just about as good as it gets. And that being said, I couldn't be more thrilled (and floored!) that I am called to be a pastor.
At the same time, I couldn't be more terrified. Beneath all my excitement for the strenuous Duke seminary classes to come to a close and the real "get your hands dirty" practical ministry to start this summer, is straight-up fear. I have not wanted to admit to myself that a substantial part of me is just plain scared. My internship at St. Andrews-Covenant Presbyterian officially starts this Sunday, June 5th, and thus this whole week I've had nothing to do but be a beach bum (I know, woe is me! lol) and wait. I have tried so hard to be a good beach bum (and I even have a sun burn to prove it!)---but I cannot help my two-fold emotional state of joyful excitement, but also anxious fear.
Fear is really a funny thing, and because of my roller coaster of emotions this week, I've been thinking a lot about it. It even worked its way into my portion of the liturgy for worship this Sunday. In Job, the only true wisdom is "fear of the Lord" (Job 28:28). Yet, 1 John claims that perfect love drives out all fear, because fear has to do with punishment (1 John 4:18). Thanks be to God that we have a Savior who took the punishment for us, so that fear need not consume us any longer. We need only "fear" the Lord and God's wisdom--a wisdom that is ultimately loving, ultimately compassionate, ultimately good--and thus, we really have nothing to fear at all... we "shall see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living" (Psalm 27:13).
I've been reading Psalm 27 about every day this week because it addresses fear head-on. Not only that, but the heading in my bible reads "Triumphant Song of Confidence"--which let's face it--I think I need one of those right about now. ;)
"The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?" (27:1)
Well Lord, that's a really good point. If you are the salvation and the stronghold, and I am not, then I really don't have much to worry about. Please Lord, help me refocus and give this summer all to you.
"One thing I asked of the Lord, that will I seek after: to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to inquire in his temple." (27:4)
Yes God, the fact that I want to dwell and serve in your temple is about all I know right now! I love this beautiful verse--it articulates what my soul longs for so perfectly--to dwell in God's house, and to behold God's beauty, and to inquire about God's mystery and majesty all my days! Yes!!!
"Now my head is lifted up above my enemies all around me, and I will offer in his tent sacrifices with shouts of joy; I will sing and make melody to the Lord." (27:6)
God, when I can't gather the strength or will to lift up my own head; when I feel ashamed and unworthy of this calling, unworthy to offer sacrifices in your holy tent, I feel you lifting up my chin with your outstretched hand, and telling me that I am your beloved; and before I know it, I'm singing. I'm singing your praises. It is you, Lord, who even gives me the ability to offer sacrifices to you in your very own temple, who gives me the very voice that praises you. It is all you, God. From Alpha to Omega, from beginning to end. And I pray that you might come to me and take me over again; grant me the joy of singing in your temple once more, that my little life might be a testament to the wonder of who you are.
"I believe that I shall see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!" (27:13-14)
God, it is your goodness alone that gives me strength, that fuels my feeble faith. Help me wait for you. Help me trust you. Help me trust that when my mouth gets parched in front of 200 people on Sunday morning, that your words of truth will pour out from my mortal tongue. May your goodness overwhelm my fear, so that all that is left is you.
Amen.
Your post reminded me of somthing. I once had a discussion with a person on the concept of wealth. I told him that there are many forms of wealth. He responded that money was the only one that we can measure. I smiled and replied “All the gold in the world is mere dust when compared to God’s love”. That confused him.
ReplyDeleteTo expand on this topic as I see it in the bible: Can you imagine the look that St Stephen had on his face when he uttered his last words? The words “Behold, I see the heavens opened, and the Son of man standing on the right hand of God.” Acts 7:56. I think of that scene in 34-35 AD. This man, St Stephen, left this earth with sheer joy in his heart! Paul saw this look of joy before he died. A reflection of pure perfection in a dying man's face. What a life changing moment that must have been for all that witnessed that!
That is the image I hold! Grand, isn't it?