Hey Gang,
This will be my last post for almost two weeks. Today I leave for the Bulwer District to work in a Methodist circuit. Clerical collars are required for this leg of the trip so I look forward to sharing photos of my South African Sunday best. Below is another reflection submitted as a component of my internship this summer. I reflect on the diverse face of ministry in light of a personal call.
A Call to Listen
Throughout the multitude of tasks and paperwork one is required to comply with on the road to Methodist ordination, there is always that poignant call to ministry that accompanies the candidate. This call often leads the individual to plow head first into church work, taking up worship planning and climbing the scaffolding into the pulpit. In essence, with a call comes a desire to preach and have one's spiritual voice heard. Why else would God have called us to this duty? What is a pastor without a steady routine of preaching? Such thoughts do considerable justice to my own inclinations concerning my role in the church. I, Jamison, have been called to be a leader, a teacher and a preacher. I feel called to parish ministry because I enjoy fostering relationships and inviting people into the glorious work of the kingdom in which God calls us all to take part. Even in my writing, I begin preach thinking about my desire to preach. Garnished here though, like a flawed ruby caught in the midday sun, is the slight twinkle of entitlement garbed in divine mandate. I have been called by God, so others should readily receive the fact that I have come to preach and be their pastor.
Call it typical American arrogance or the folly of youth, I arrived in South Africa expecting to do exactly what I had always done, embed myself in a church and take a pastoral role among South Africans. Yet, this did not occur. People were not lined up at the airport, banners waving, vuvuzelas blasting, greeting the young bright American preacher from the academic landscape of Duke University. OK, no parade, that is to be expected. As the weeks progressed however, opportunities never surfaced to participate in the liturgy let alone perform an exegesis on Luke. I found my time filled with home visitations in which only the native tongue Zulu was spoken, my contribution to the conversation was simply being present. I worked to shore up the facilities at Walk in the Light so that other American missionaries could pitch upon their impending arrival. Frustration began to mount, doesn't anyone see that our Duke team isn't being used properly? We all have spiritual gifts and callings already demonstrated in placements. We have earned the right to be an active part of ministry because we have already done the grunt work. I have already done the grunt work.
I smile now about such ridiculous notions after a debriefing conversation with Chaplain Peter Grassow who listened to my description of struggling to understand how my call to ministry fits into the current context. He gave a simple yet profound response, “What makes you think you have anything to say worth listening to in South Africa?” This was not directed as a rebuttal of my concern, but intended as a springboard for further reflection. Let us be clear that much reflection ensued. Such moments, of simple truths finally voiced, have a profound way of soothing an irritation and regaining perspective. I have been in South Africa for a little under a month now. True, back in the States I had fulfilled many common pastoral duties. I grew up in the States though and have lived there all my life. By living in a place among those which I now feel called to minister, I had earned the right to speak as one of them. Why should I expect the same leeway with a people I have hardly known and who certainly have yet to get to know me. A pastor's office is grounded in community, but first, one must become a part of that community for that office to be recognized.
God articulated this reality through my times of silent observation. I was reminded through others performing the role of pastor to the ailing and infirm that this calling is not an entitlement or privilege. This calling is God's grace made manifest in vocation. I have been called to my post by no merit or effort previously put forth. The title of pastor is not a rank for congregations to salute and stand at attention as I pass. Humility and respect for the origin of the call must be maintained at all times. God calls out in the night, “Whom shall I send?” I will go Lord, use me as you will, mold me as you will, for the ministry laid before me.
I look forward to recounting my exploits as a clergy fella in the foothills of the Drakensberg Mountains. Reports of snow have already come in, so it should be a good time.
Until we blog again,
Jamison
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